id be glad to
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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