i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
