"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
