direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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