were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
