update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
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You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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