I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
