party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
