I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My bed smells like the plague
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