I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
