Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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