eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
