So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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