the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
