Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
