Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
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