k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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