Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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