Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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