Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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