i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I will be naked everywhere
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
