Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
