When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
