If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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