your thong is hanging out like whoa
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
