have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
