I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
