I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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