yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
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Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
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Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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