Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Send help, water and tortillas.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
