I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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