Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
