doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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