I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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