Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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