So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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