no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
