just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
