My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
