im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
