Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
