Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
