Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
