She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
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But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
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does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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