Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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