tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
The ass gains better be worth it
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