did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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