I feel like I'm in dance class right now
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
