Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
