there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
