I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
