one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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