It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize