She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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